Eliminating the Wonder Woman Complex: Why do women pressure each other into thinking doing it all is necessary?
What is it with us women? As if trying to be the best woman we can be isn't already hard enough, we pressure each other into a false sense of feminine perfection. It’s the Wonder Woman complex. The idea that all women are to perform beyond a certain standard when it comes to work, home, finances, fashion and beauty. If you aren't working towards the “Wonder Woman” standard or higher, you’re viewed as flawed or lazy and the spotlight is on you. The problem is -- there is no such thing as the perfect woman; the ins and outs of day-to-day society don’t leave space for the perfect woman to blossom.
Women spend more time sizing each other up, drawing comparisons and criticizing, than we do encouraging and supporting one another. Furthermore, we seem to be increasingly interested in everyone elses shortcomings, rather than our own. To begin, many of us aren't even in the position to judge; where you excel -- another may struggle and vice versa. The goals you've set for yourself may not be the same goals she set for herself. Not only do we “have to” look good, we have to come preheated at 400 degrees -- with mother, wife and educational skills. When we’re finished baking at 400 degrees, we “should be” an educated social butterfly, who is a homemaker, with a promising career that pays a minimum of five-figures annually. Oh, and don’t forget finding the perfect guy to submit and commit yourself to for life. How many women do you actually know like this? I’d love to ask her how she does it. Trying to cover every category of “womanliness” doesn’t allow us enough time to execute and perfect each one. The amount of time it would take to be “perfect” is time that many women in 2013 -- do not have.
Reality check, women today are focusing on one or two elements and executing them the best way they know how.
What about the undergrad who works part-time on campus, at the mall or as a receptionist or medical clerk. Then there’s the two-time graduate, who still can’t decide what field she wants to enter, so she enrolls herself in school for the third time hoping she'll find her calling this time.
Women can pick and choose what we want to do; we make our own rules and do what works for us. The first step; set goals and decide what isn't for you. Make a detailed step-by-step plan, pace yourself and never compare yourself to anyone else. Don’t accept everyone’s standards, create your own. Cut yourself some slack, and always be realistic.
Women spend more time sizing each other up, drawing comparisons and criticizing, than we do encouraging and supporting one another. Furthermore, we seem to be increasingly interested in everyone elses shortcomings, rather than our own. To begin, many of us aren't even in the position to judge; where you excel -- another may struggle and vice versa. The goals you've set for yourself may not be the same goals she set for herself. Not only do we “have to” look good, we have to come preheated at 400 degrees -- with mother, wife and educational skills. When we’re finished baking at 400 degrees, we “should be” an educated social butterfly, who is a homemaker, with a promising career that pays a minimum of five-figures annually. Oh, and don’t forget finding the perfect guy to submit and commit yourself to for life. How many women do you actually know like this? I’d love to ask her how she does it. Trying to cover every category of “womanliness” doesn’t allow us enough time to execute and perfect each one. The amount of time it would take to be “perfect” is time that many women in 2013 -- do not have.
Reality check, women today are focusing on one or two elements and executing them the best way they know how.
- The soccer-mom who runs her catering business from home.
- The executive director of a major corporation who gives back to the community on the weekends.
- The single mother of two who opened her own beauty shop downtown.
- The neighborhood mom who makes a living babysitting local toddlers.
- The entrepreneur who is her own boss, peddling her ideas to potential investors.
- The trophy wife who attends every PTA meeting and still makes time for her family after working a 50-hour week.
What about the undergrad who works part-time on campus, at the mall or as a receptionist or medical clerk. Then there’s the two-time graduate, who still can’t decide what field she wants to enter, so she enrolls herself in school for the third time hoping she'll find her calling this time.
Women can pick and choose what we want to do; we make our own rules and do what works for us. The first step; set goals and decide what isn't for you. Make a detailed step-by-step plan, pace yourself and never compare yourself to anyone else. Don’t accept everyone’s standards, create your own. Cut yourself some slack, and always be realistic.